Do you think that your child will fulfill the things you didn’t manage to do? Do you think that your child will choose the path you show him? Do you think that he will marry the woman you choose for him or the man who in your opinion will be the best husband for her?
Push these illusions aside, don’t expect anything in return and don’t bet on the fact that someone will appreciate your hard work in the future. If you have no expectations there will be no reason for sadness. And if everything turns out as you wished it to, that will be something to celebrate. Act without expecting anything in return. Give what you can. And remember that the essential ingredient that children and all of us need is Love. Real love which is able to let go, stand aside, not manipulate through emotions or violate others with its ‘love’.
From the moment a baby leaves its mother’s womb and the umbilical cord is cut, he or she belongs to the world. The baby is Earth’s son or daughter. He has his own path, life and destiny. She has freedom of choice, given to all of us from birth.
Who are we then? We are simply helpers who aid the baby to sit, crawl, walk etc. We don’t teach anyone; we simply show them the world around us and share our experiences with them. We come into this world to teach ourselves, not others. There’s no need to try teaching someone close to you, be it your husband, wife or children. We can only offer our view of a situation to our child, give advice and warn them of any dangers ahead. But do not under any circumstance become tyrants who force their image of the world upon their child, especially when they are already 25 years old.
When a baby is inside his mother, we can give him the best of what is in us, keep him safe, bear him to fruition and go through birthing together. After that we feed him milk, rock him to sleep, hold him close to our breast. In the first few years of life a baby is very dependent on her parents. She is almost helpless; she needs to be dressed, have her nappies changed and bottle held. But the older a child becomes the more independent he becomes and the more interest he shows in the surrounding world. And we simply need to accept that sometimes this can be very complicated.
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The first time my daughter pushed me away was at 11 months when I was trying to calm her down. I hugged her to my breast and she gave me a push with her little hand, as if she wanted to get up and go somewhere else. At that second I felt a feeling impossible to describe. I suddenly understood that she had grown up somewhat and wanted to be more independent… I saw that the world was calling her mercilessly. A great deal of curiosity and the desire for adventure were awaking inside her. Only sometimes after bathing time would she suddenly recall the lost state of absolute comfort – of being in her mother’s womb