"You must hate me," she said in a raspy voice.…
I silently looked at the mother, supporting the dialogue.
"How did you find me?»
"No matter" – I cut – " you tell me why life crippled myself and me? You know very well what I want you to say, so what do you expect? About myself, about my father, about me, you know? Forty years I don't know who I am, why I live and what I live it."
"Sinitsyn Igor Leonidovich-that was the name of your father. We were married for four years, then you came along. And, probably, it was the last joyful event in our life".
My mother stood up, came up to me and sat down next to me on the floor.
"You don't think, I just gave you to the orphanage. Your father wanted you to grow up in a wealthy family that didn't know poverty. He put on the card all that we had, I did not know about it, otherwise of course would have stopped, but he lost big. People on whom he counted, brought him and disappeared with the money taken for the services, and we remained without housing, the car and means of existence. Take everything. My father then began confusion, he was placed in a psychiatric hospital."
Mom put her hand on mine and continued.
"I could not find housing, I quit my job a month before this story, and I have not found a new one yet, and so I had to give you to a boarding school, I myself went to the United Arab Emirates to work. I didn't want you to know who I was working there, what I was doing there, but I did everything I could to make a little room and come back for you. When I came back, you were gone. No one gave me any information about you. Independent searches to anything didn't lead".
"Yes, I was very ill at the age of twelve, and I was taken to a hospital in Moscow. I stayed there for about six months. Then brought to a local boarding school where I also finished treatment and training. Here in my hometown I moved back after five years in Moscow I found. It is very expensive to live there and very difficult to exist, especially when you have no one."
"So you were in Moscow when I was looking for you here»
"Well, where is your apartment the, on earnings which you was leaving?»
"I did not buy an apartment, came, rushed to look for you, did not find, went away from people, from the bustle of the city and settled here. Here settled on a farm. Paid, of course, crumbs, but I do not need a lot, enough. I went to boarding school every week for two years, no one said anything, no information about you has not appeared. And I lived neither alive not dead, in search of you and not knowing where you are and if you are alive at all. Stopped by periodically to see your dad, but he just got worse, though, here is a little strange, from their sedative drugs better than anyone else does not become. Years twenty-already as went to him. He died, and I have after this strongly shaken health. Many doctors said, sent to clinics capital, but I already had no money for treatment and didn't want to be treated".