‘Stevens, I realize this is a somewhat irregular thing to ask you to do.’
‘Sir?’
‘It’s just that one has so much of importance on one’s mind just now.’
‘I would be very glad to be of assistance, sir.’
‘I’m sorry to bring up a thing like this, Stevens. I know you must be awfully busy yourself. But I can’t see how on earth to make it go away.’
I waited a moment while Lord Darlington returned his attention to Who’s Who. Then he said, without looking up:
‘You are familiar, I take it, with the facts of life.’
‘Sir?’
The facts of life, Stevens. Birds, bees. You are familiar, aren’t you?’
‘I’m afraid I don’t quite follow you, sir.’
‘Let me put my cards on the table, Stevens. Sir David is a very old friend. And he’s been invaluable in organizing the present conference. Without him, I dare say, we’d not have secured M. Dupont’s agreement to come.’
‘Indeed, sir.’
‘However, Stevens, Sir David has his funny side. You may have noticed it yourself. He’s brought his son, Reginald, with him. To act as secretary. The point is, he’s engaged to be married. Young Reginald, I mean.’
‘Yes, sir.’
‘Sir David has been attempting to tell his son the facts of life for the last five years. The young man is now twenty-three.’
‘Indeed, sir.’
‘I’ll get to the point, Stevens. I happen to be the young man’s godfather. Accordingly, Sir David has requested that I convey to young Reginald the facts of life.’
‘Indeed, sir.’
‘Sir David himself finds the task rather daunting and suspects he will not accomplish it before Reginald’s wedding day.’
‘Indeed, sir.’
‘The point is, Stevens, I’m terribly busy. Sir David should know that, but he’s asked me none the less.’
His lordship paused and went on studying his page.
‘Do I understand, sir,’ I said, ‘that you wish me to convey the information to the young gentleman?’
‘If you don’t mind, Stevens. Be an awful lot off my mind. Sir David continues to ask me every couple of hours if I’ve done it yet.’
‘I see, sir. It must be most trying under the present pressures.’
‘Of course, this is far beyond the call of duty, Stevens.’
‘I will do my best, sir. I may, however, have difficulty finding the appropriate moment to convey such information.’
‘I’d be very grateful if you’d even try, Stevens. Awfully decent of you. Look here, there’s no need to make a song and dance of it. Just convey the basic facts and be done with it. Simple approach is the best, that’s my advice, Stevens.’