However I know: my silence, comfort and peace is not forever. I can enjoy it as long as you stay in peace. As soon as you start to worry, I’ll feel the same. And I think you know it as well. So we will see…
But thanks God for everything! This prayer yesterday in Dom cathedral helped me a lot! Oh, my Lord, my dear dear Lord, my the only true love, thank YOU!!!
Interesting when I lived in Tallinn I also wanted enjoy the same way of life in a big beautiful ancient city, but felt tired and sad. And now I feel myself as I wanted to feel that time…
Now sometimes I imagine how we live here somewhere together, as we are preparing breakfast, as we love and enjoy each other after all these difficult lonely years… see, may be one day I’ll show you this letter and you will smile to me.
You also want the baby, Adi! Say no! :)
8.10.201*
Hi!
SITTING at hairdresser-room with Nelly, then we will go together to Mary like always, here only two exceptions: Wednesday and Sunday. It can feel like boring to some other person, but suits perfectly to me.
Hope I will have i-net connection at last. But in general my notebook works rather slowly. May be just not too much power or some extra-programs I really don’t need and don’t use. Vladimir probably can help.
Yesterday evening I walked late, but was interesting to watch night life of the city, so I’d like to find some friends here – for helping with language. Interesting did you write something to me or not? Soon I’ll know. But night was SO hard. And I still dońt know do you have some relation to this or it́s just my problem. In any case Íd like to escape. Yesterday you agreed so easily. The question is: why? But of course you won’t tell me. We still can be in some kind of contact through MY page and through our friends. We have now 6 of them in common. As with nobody else.
If I get i-net connection today, I’ll probably write to Amir…
09.10.201*
Yesterday was a wonderful day!
At first because of Amir. We spoke a lot on facebook and then he saw me on Skype (and I didńt see him, will ask today, why it was so). Then I walked in Kirchhof, saw two very beautiful squirrels there, they wanted to play with me. And evening I spend at home, reading book by Sergey Dovlatov.
Today the weather is fine again.
Adi, you know what: today I miss you again and think it was great when we were together and could write each other every day. And now we would see each other by web-camera… may be you will do something at last, I believe. You cańt be such a fool just to let me go. This Rehman started to visit facebook more often. May be you wanted again to see, what I will do, what I will say to ppl about you. But this time I just keep silent.