– That's even better! – Charlotte said confidently. – They say the Duke of Nightingale and Miss Beckley's engagement ball is in the very midst of preparations, and some say that London has never seen such a splendid ball! That the Prince Regent himself will be there! – she chattered, forgetting Mr. Wington's unfortunate presence. – But poor Miss Beckley! You will outshine her with your beauty on such an important evening!
– I'm not sure I'll be able to go to the ball," Vivian confessed frankly. – Do you remember when I said I wouldn't be disappointed to see the Duke lead his bride to dance? I lied.
– Oh, no, poor thing… You still love him! – Charlotte gasped.
– Do I? – her friend asked thoughtfully. – I don't know if it's love… I don't know if I can love a man after all the horrors of marriage… But the thought that if he were my husband, my life would be full of colour… And there wouldn't be… How can I define it softer… There wouldn't be this hatred… At this thought I feel hurt and sad.. – But then Vivian smiled broadly, set her cup aside and threw two small logs into the fireplace. – The damp is getting to my bones. This house is so big that I can't keep warm, even in my warm dresses. Even my favourite shawl doesn't keep me warm. Jeremy reproaches me for not carrying our first-born child. He wants so much to be a father… I think I would like motherhood… Just think: a little ball of happiness, yours, dear, warm… But I'm afraid. I'm afraid that the baby will tie me to Jeremy so tightly that I'll never be able to leave him, even if I wanted to.
– Give up those thoughts, my dear," Charlotte said affectionately. – This child will bring you happiness.
– Either happiness or sorrow," Vivian replied sadly. – 'But I love children. I love them very much. And Jeremy is so anxious for an heir!
– My dear, God will give you a child when He sees fit. Then it's not time yet. – Charlotte finished her tea quickly and announced triumphantly: – "Now take me to the piano! I've learnt a new English ballad!
The girls spent the whole afternoon together. After a rather late dinner Charlotte went home, as she was tired and did not want to meet the master of the house, who, fortunately, had not yet arrived from hunting. It was hard to part, but Vivian promised to come to Lillehus tomorrow after lunch.