“He was looking for someone else, you say— someone who was not you?”
“He was looking for little Miles.” I knew this very clearly. “That’s who he was looking for.”
“But how do you know?”
“I know, I know, I know!” After a moment, she continued: “What if he sees him?”
“Little Miles? That’s what he wants!”
She looked very scared again. “The child?”
“Heaven forbid[29]! The man. He wants to appear to them.” The idea was awful, but somehow, I couldn’t keep it away. As we stayed there, I had a strong feeling that I would see what I had already seen. However, something in me told me that I could serve as a sacrifice[30] to protect the calmness of my companions. Especially the children, I would surround them and save them completely. I remember one of the last things I said to Mrs. Grose that night.
“It seems like my students have never told me—”
She looked at me as I paused in thought, “About his time here and the time they spent with him?”
“The time they spent with him, his name, his presence, his history, anything.”
“Oh, the little girl doesn’t remember. She never heard or knew.”
“About his death?” I thought deeply. “Maybe not. But Miles would remember—Miles would know.”
“Ah, don’t ask him!” Mrs. Grose cried.
I gave her the same look she had given me. “Don’t be afraid.” I continued to think. “It’s rather strange.”
“That he has never talked about him?”
“Never even asked about him. And you say they were ‘great friends’?”
“Oh, it wasn’t him! It was Quint’s own imagination. To play with him, I mean—to spoil him.” She paused for a moment, then added: “Quint was much too free.”
This made me feel a sudden disgust[31]. “Too free with my boy?”
“Too free with everyone!”
Just to be sure, I asked her one last question. “So you’re saying that he was definitely and admittedly[32] bad?”
“Oh, not admittedly. I knew it—but the master didn’t.”
“And you never told him?”
“Well, he didn’t like people talking about others’ faults. He didn’t want to hear complaints. If people were fine with him…”
“He didn’t want to hear more?” This matched my impression of him. Still, I continued. “I promise you, I would have told him!”
She understood my point. “Maybe I was wrong. But, honestly, I was afraid.”
“Afraid of what?”
“Of the things that man could do. Quint was so clever.”