A very worthwhile experience of accompanying the dying process is presented in the Zen hospice33, where the approach of respect for the last page of the life path is implemented. Conditions and opportunities have been created in it for deep contact with oneself, one's deadly illness, one's experiences, certain final actions and events; without flight, hiding, a person meets with what is. One of the important rituals (I have not seen this in any other institutions of this type), when a person has left, they do not seek to remove the body as soon as possible and it is better so that no one sees it. On the contrary, he is slowly and respectfully carried out through the garden, where everyone, whether it's someone from the staff or other patients, can come up to say goodbye, say something, express themselves, let's say, in tears.
We believe that there are some invisible energy channels between people, some intangible communication. I remember an example from the book "Monsters and magic wands" (this is also about the fact that they do not always leave at an advanced age). An infant (an unwanted child) was dying there, the doctors were powerless, a psychologist (not an academic) came to this crumb and began to talk to him. He said that he understands that it seems to him that no one needs him, he said that he himself would be hurt, would not want to live … he said that there are many people in this world, including kind and good, that there are many beautiful things in it for which it is worth living, such as love, beauty, nature… And now it seemed to the psychologist that baby’s greenish face turned pink … the child went on the mend; he chose to live.
Question: what would happen if the same words were said by another person who would be indifferent to the future fate of the baby, who would internally disagree with these words?… Our semantic space works, our attitude, our openness, sincere interest, the ability to existential encounter. And the fact that everyone is an individual does not mean that we are not connected, does not mean that we cannot be one. Our delusion about the separation within is a consequence of the apparent physical separation, the separation of our physical bodies and human egoism. Understanding the alienation