Anniversarian. A play for 2 people. Comedy - страница 4

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Philemon. That's an asshole Earring! I knew that I was going to my uncle's birthday at four o'clock! Then why the hell are you wandering around at night? You have to count on it somehow! Youth is careless, he was like that himself. Eh… Where are my seventeen years…

Everything is clear. Later means later. Well, at least I have friends, otherwise I would celebrate the anniversary alone.

A message sound is heard. Philemon clicks "listen".

A voice message. Hello, old man! Happy holidays. Phil. I can't come to you, no offense, okay? I'm whispering, I've got a drop here! I had a fight with my goat. She saw traces of lipstick on my shirt, the secretary, a parasite, messed up again. How many times have I told her to cover up all traces of herself. I cleaned my hair off my clothes, poured my perfume from head to toe to kill the smell of perfume from this my lippy. And there was a trace of lipstick at the neck itself. I don't have eyes on my neck. I looked in the mirror – everything seemed to be in order, but there was a very small footprint. My wife saw it. The scandal almost led to a divorce. Phil, there's really no time to celebrate right now, we need to save our family life somehow. Do you hear him yelling? Yeah, he's freaking out. That's it, I can't talk anymore, now it's going to be Makhach! Happy holidays, old man. Pray for me just in case. Hang up.

Philemon. Tolyan, again on the same rake! The hunchback, as you can see, will be corrected by the grave. We've been friends with him for as long as we've been together –he's always chasing after every skirt. So many girls have passed through him that he probably lost count himself a long time ago. The wife is beautiful. A very effective woman. Seven years younger than him. Curvy, successful. She has a chain of cafeterias in the city. He does fitness, reads Dostoevsky. The house is clean and cozy. Most importantly, she loves him. And there he is. I've talked to him so many times to calm down, but it's no use.

What kind of life is this? As a good decent woman, there must be some Tolyan next to her. Or vice versa. Take my example. I'm a good man, but I got a mean wife. She traded my anniversary for some kind of Vietnam. Would a normal ex-wife do that? That's what I'm talking about.