Fear and Shame as Social Tools
Fear and shame are subtle tools that society has learned to use with remarkable efficiency. These emotions are so deeply embedded in your psyche that you don’t even notice how they control you. You think these are your own feelings, that they are natural. But in reality, they were skillfully instilled in you to make you predictable, obedient, convenient.
Fear creates the illusion that your desire is a threat. As soon as you begin to want something, your brain automatically sounds an alarm. The amygdala, responsible for instinctive reactions, perceives any deviation from the norm as danger. But this "danger" is just an invention. Society has reprogrammed your brain to fear stepping out of bounds. You are afraid not because it’s scary, but because you were taught to feel this way.
Shame goes even deeper. It’s not just a momentary emotion but an embedded mechanism of self-censorship. You don’t need external control if you’re already afraid that something is wrong with you. Shame creates a constant internal dialogue: "I’m not good enough," "My desire is shameful." It makes you doubt yourself, abandon your thoughts and aspirations before they even take shape.
These emotions take root through social practices. In childhood, shame is instilled with seemingly harmless phrases: "What will people think?" "You can’t do that, it’s inappropriate." In school, fear becomes discipline: grades, punishments, labels. Culture and religion elevate this to the level of absolute control. Desires are declared sinful, the body a source of filth, and freedom a chaos to be avoided.
You grow up feeling that your own aspirations are a mistake to be corrected. The harder you try to meet others’ expectations, the more you lose connection with yourself. Your desires begin to seem foreign, frightening, wrong. You suppress them, but along with them, you suppress your energy, your nature, your "self."
Fear and shame are not your feelings. They are constructs designed to rob you of freedom. They turn your pursuit of happiness into guilt, your uniqueness into a problem, your strength into weakness. And until you realize this, they will continue to control you, forcing you to live not for yourself but for a system that never cared about your interests.