Social networks amplify this pressure. Every day you see what sex should look like to be "ideal." In real life, sex is awkward, impulsive, funny. But culture imposes a performance: you must play a role to fit in. As a result, you begin to doubt yourself. If your desires or body don’t fit imposed standards, you feel abnormal. This shame becomes a constant background, affecting self-esteem, relationships, and confidence.
Scientific research confirms the destructive impact of such frameworks. According to the Journal of Sexual Medicine (2021), more than 60% of people experience anxiety or shame related to their sex life due to social norms. This leads to depression, lower self-esteem, and relationship problems. Shame activates the amygdala, increasing anxiety, while the hippocampus forms long-term associations between sex and fear. The prefrontal cortex, responsible for rational thinking, is suppressed, making a person even more vulnerable to external influence.
The boundaries of "normal" sex don’t protect; they suppress your individuality. They make you doubt your desires, see them as a problem. You’re afraid to ask yourself: "What do I really want?" because you’re used to orienting yourself to standards. Your desires become alien, and you become part of a system that suppresses you.
"Normal" is an illusion. It was invented to control you. Your desires were never abnormal. The abnormality was the fact that someone tried to regulate them. Freeing yourself from these boundaries means reclaiming your right to be yourself.
Control Through Guilt: How This Scheme Works
Guilt is the chain society puts on your freedom. This tool works skillfully and imperceptibly, making you doubt your desires, thoughts, and actions. You feel like you’re doing something wrong even when you’re just trying to be yourself. But who said your desires are wrong? That voice is not yours. It was created by family, school, culture, religion – all those who want to keep you within limits.
At the brain level, guilt triggers a chain reaction. The amygdala, responsible for fear and anxiety, activates as soon as you step outside the "permissible." This triggers a stress response: cortisol, the stress hormone, rises, and the hippocampus records this situation as "dangerous." Over time, your brain starts associating any manifestations of individuality with a threat. The prefrontal cortex, responsible for rational thinking, is suppressed, and you can no longer critically evaluate whether you actually did something wrong. Guilt becomes your automatic reflex every time you try to step out of bounds.