– Oh, forget it! You don’t leave me a chance for a smallest joke! Boring! – and Lizzy turned to the screen again.
Obviously, Kevin is my boyfriend and to put the cherry on top of the cake – a photo model. Light hair, wide shoulders, sky-colored eyes. We met at a photoshoot last year: he was in the promotion of some big hotel campaign and I was offered a good sum for posting the pics with links on my blog.
I was single at that time and not really looking for any love adventures, but Kevin was all smiles, and hugs and delicate words. Next thing I knew – we were drinking vodka on the rocks on the roof of my apartment, singing “Before you go” and some other sentimental stuff. He entered my life without any bubbles, meaning my waters were as still as they had been before him. Kevin’s character seemed to be as light as his own hair – always positive and full of jokes.
But all that happened to be just my first impression of him. And I am horrible, terrible, really hopeless at reading other people.
I hated Lizzy when we first met, and look where we are now.
Time passed and by the time we started watching this TV series there was already something wrong about my and Kevin’s relationship. The balance went off. There was too much of him and too little left of me.
I didn’t even notice how we have come to this. His rules, his movies, his food, his him.
Kevin never shouted at me or hit me, no, his aggression was very well hidden inside. Passive but as real as a poisonous snake indecisively waiting for its bite. Emotional pressure – a favorite weapon.
I guess I was not prepared to any of it, I haven’t had any experience of such behavior in my past – nor within my family nor among my friends and acquaintances. Being too flexible I let him bend the situations in any directions he wanted.
My goal was peace and to get that I had to say yes every single time, cause when he got a no, he would close up inside and get offended and would not talk to me for days.
The guy in the TV show was not Kevin-gorgeous-handsome, but there was something so familiar in his look. I felt like seeing a relative on screen, wanting to say “yes, you see, he is my cousin/brother/uncle, how proud I am!”. And that would be totally ok if he was my family member. But he obviously wasn’t one.