Twisted tales - страница 5

Bob, a dreamer with a heart full of honeyed words and an imagination that could rival a kaleidoscope, had sworn eternal devotion to Beatrice. “My dear Beatrice,” he’d intoned, eyes gleaming like polished pennies, “I shall make you my wife, my queen, my guiding North Star!” Beatrice, bless her soul, believed him. That was ten years ago.

Since then, their engagement had become a permanent fixture, like the statue in the town square. The wedding, however, was always just around the corner – a corner that eternally receded as Bob’s ingenuity flourished. He was a veritable Houdini of nuptial escapes.

“My sweet Beatrice,” he'd say, his voice dripping with sincerity that could sweeten a lemon, “we must postpone. The stars aren't aligned! Jupiter is in retrograde. It's a cosmic decree against matrimony!” Beatrice, armed with a half-hearted astrology book, would grudgingly concede.

Then came the Great Aunt Mildred Emergency. “She's in dire need of a new hip, my love,” Bob declared, “and I, as her only nephew, am duty-bound to lead the fundraising! A wedding now would be… insensitive.” Beatrice, who had yet to meet this mythical aunt, nodded with a sigh that could rust iron.

The excuses grew more elaborate. A sudden, urgent need to climb Mount Kilimanjaro “for spiritual enlightenment,” a deep-sea diving expedition to find a lost treasure that would “secure their financial future,” even a stint as a mime in Paris to “discover his true artistic self.” Beatrice, meanwhile, discovered a remarkable talent for knitting scarves – a skill honed during the endless evenings she spent waiting.

Years spiraled by like autumn leaves caught in a whirlwind. Her once vibrant hope had faded to a dull ember, yet Beatrice, with a resilience that would make a willow tree envious, remained. She knew Bob. He was more comfortable courting her than being her partner. But she also knew that she loved Bob.

One sunny afternoon, Bob burst into her parlour, eyes shining brighter than ever. “Beatrice, my love!” he exclaimed, “I have found it! The perfect reason to finally set a date! We must wait for the blooming of the legendary Midnight Orchid of Borneo. It only flowers once a century, and it is a symbol of eternal love!”