The Second Chapter
Animal Language
It happened one day that the parrot, Polynesia, flew onto the Doctor’s table and said,
“Be an animal-doctor. Don’t treat the silly people – if they haven’t brains enough to see that you’re the best doctor in the world. Take care of animals instead.”
“Oh, there are plenty of animal-doctors,” said John Dolittle.
“Yes, there ARE plenty,” said Polynesia. “But none of them are any good at all. Now listen, Doctor, and I’ll tell you something. Did you know that animals can talk?”
“I knew that parrots can talk,” said the Doctor.
“Oh, we parrots can talk in two languages – people’s language and bird-language,” said Polynesia proudly. “If I say, ‘Polly wants a cracker,’ you understand me. But hear this: Ka-ka oi-ee, fee-fee?”
“Oh!” cried the Doctor. “What does that mean?”
“That means, ‘Is the porridge hot yet?’ – in bird-language.”
“Really!” said the Doctor. “You never talked that way to me before. Tell me some more!” And he rushed to the desk and came back with the note book and a pencil. “Now don’t speak too fast – and I’ll write it down. This is interesting – very interesting – something quite new. Give me the Birds’ ABC first – slowly now.”
So all that afternoon Polynesia sat on the table and gave him bird words to put down in the book. After a while, with the parrot’s help, the Doctor learnt the language of the animals so well that he could talk to them and understand everything they said. Then old ladies began to bring him their pets; and farmers came many miles to show him sick cows and sheep. One day a farmer with a horse came to him; and the poor animal was really glad to find a man who could talk in horse-language.
“You know, Doctor,” said the horse, “that vet over the hill knows nothing at all. He thinks that I have a problem knee. But I just need GLASSES. I am going blind in one eye. Why can’t horses wear glasses? That stupid man over the hill never even looked at my eyes. He gave me big pills. I tried to tell him; but he couldn’t understand a word of horse-language. What I need is glasses.”
“Of course – of course,” said the Doctor, “I’ll get you some at once.”
“I would like a pair like yours,” said the horse – “only green. They’ll keep the sun out of my eyes while I’m plowing the field.”