Читать Two at the slap. A play for 2 people - Nikolay Lakutin

Comedy. Duration 1 hour

THE CHARACTERS are

not the first freshness of the young man-ALBERT

not the first freshness of a young girl-ISOLDE

The action takes place in an apartment. It's late in the morning, the curtains are drawn, one sad slap from the left foot is lying in the middle of the room. There is no second one. The light source illuminates this lonely attribute of shoes.

Albert crawls into the room on all fours. He clearly does not feel at his best, as evidenced by his rumpled, carelessly unbuttoned shirt, which is partially tucked into family underpants, as well as his disheveled hair and swollen face are striking.

Albert mutters something under his breath. It doesn't mumble, it doesn't whine, it doesn't moan.

He crawls to the central part of the stage, crawls to the flip-flops, stumbles over it with his hand and falls.

ALBERT (lying on the floor in a ridiculous position): Oh, I don't feel like it today… at all.

He sighs, tries to restore the original crawling position, but eventually sits down on the fifth point and looks in surprise-nihilistically at the auditorium. The slipper is lying next to him.

ALBERT (philosophically): That's how it turns out? How many years I have lived, I can not find the answer to this, at first glance, simple question. Where does the second slipper go all the time? (To the viewer) Don't you know?

He takes a lying slap in his hand, hysterically slaps it on the floor and throws it aside.

ALBERT (nervously): So I don't know either. (Angrily points a finger at the discarded slap) And this is the second one! Today I lost the first one! It's twice as insulting!

On the other side of the stage, Isolde is also crawling on all fours, the same unsightly and disheveled. The appearance and condition are still the same.

ISOLDE (speaking with difficulty): Well, Albert (hiccups), my golden one, can't you find your ill-fated slipper again?

ALBERT (nervously): This is not a slipper! It's a slap!

ISOLDE (with irony): Mmmmm...., well, this radically changes things.

ALBERT (nervously): Oh, okay, not the point. Slap, slipper. The fact is that he is not there again!

Isolde crawls closer, sits back to back with Albert. They are both sitting on the floor, resting from a grueling crawl.

ISOLDE (sadly): Nda-s, as they say, and on the hats Potap, and on the slippers Potap.