That day there was a Shivaratri holiday in ashram, and many different events happened. And we were about to spend the night next to the fire surrounded by nature.
Nights are always freezing in the Nepal mountains. So, here I am: sitting, freezing, and thinking that it’d be nice to move to a warm place. But then another idea came to my mind: “why don’t I try to ask Babagi for help? If he really is such a great master, he will warm me up and support me in that little challenge.” I mentally asked him to help me – to open the inner fire to me.
I felt better immediately. I decided to check my feelings – and put the jacket off. It was really cold, but I wasn’t feeling frozen wearing a T‑shirt only. I was sitting for over 2 hours that way, and I felt warm all of that time. And it was that inner fire that warmed me up – the inner feelings, unknown to me before.
In the morning, we came to the teacher. There were many people surrounding him, but suddenly Babagi looked at me and said: “Are you feeling warm now?” “Yes, I am” – I answered, understanding that this person is able to communicate with me even that way, without words and at a distance.
I wanted to know more about the teacher, about the knowledge he shares. I listened to Babagi and other people’s stories about him carefully. I felt a strong and pure power emanated from him. Everything I found out about the teacher showed that the person in front of me was a man of a high level of sense, a great master. My own feelings and his life story confirmed that.
I saw his attitude to people, animals, and nature. There was a lot of love in his actions and his behavior. That absolute love that I was struggling to find all over the world. He didn’t ask anyone for money, didn’t tell who and what people should do. Everything seemed to be happening on its own and the best way it could.
“Don’t seek the happiness outside” – Babagi used to repeat. “Don’t seek God in religions, and your joy and calmness – in other people. Everything that you are looking for outside is actually there – inside of you”.
After arriving back home in Novosibirsk, I understood: that’s it, my life has changed – completely and till the very end. I’ve found my escape from the dead end I was in for many years. Here it is – my path. It leads me towards myself.