I became freer: from business, from former habits, from the effect of the internet and television. I was getting rid of my outer ties, and gathering my inner freedom rapidly. I felt good just being. To feel happy, I didn’t need to drink alcohol, seek entertainment, or listen to funny stories, starving for joy… It was so inspiring that I couldn’t turn out off this way and stop. I felt the taste of another life!
My personal and professional relationships were far from ideal, though. By that time, I had already left my former thoughts about both: business and family, but I didn’t know how to put my life together. Only one thing was absolutely clear: I didn’t want to go back to the past.
For the first time after long years of soul-searching, I was inspired by my life and encouraged by everything surrounding me as well as by everything I felt inside. I allowed myself everything I couldn’t even dream about before: I began playing music, painting, studying new practices, watching what was happening around and what other people do during their search.
Everything turned out to be interesting for me! At the same time, I continued travelling to India and taking part in events organized by Pilot Babagi. I was deepening my understanding of myself.
I UNDERSTOOD: EVERYTHING I NEED IS ALREADY INSIDE ME. WEARINESS, DISAPPOINTMENT, ANXIOUSNESS AND SOUL-SEARCHING GAVE WAY TO INNER FEELINGS OF FULFILMENT.
Though, there was another side of the coin as well: the happier I felt, the less others could understand me. And those closest to me – first. My parents asked me the same questions again and again: “Andrey, what’s happening with you? What are you doing? Are you in a cult?!”
At first, my wife was just watching me, then she started criticizing, and after that she seemed to leave it alone, thinking: “the case is hopeless, my husband is crazy. I got married to a normal man, but now there is a stranger in front of my eyes: everyday he wakes up with the dawn, declines usual food and habits, does something inexplicable, smiles all the time…”
Nevertheless, I didn’t listen to anyone, I didn’t apologize, nor did I explain anything. I loved the changes in my inner being, and the only thing I wanted was to continue.
Sometime later, Maksim suggested going to India once again. Now it was an expedition to a place of power called Tapovan. That trip affected my life a lot. There, in Tapovan, I received one of the most interesting experiences in my life – the experience of communicating with my inner master and of unquestioning belief. I’ll tell you more about this amazing event in one of following chapters.