WOMAN rushes in. She’s beautiful and dressed in a bright, provocative outfit. She’s trying to hide the fact that she’s tipsy.
WOMAN: Good evening. (Guilty) It seems I’m late.
DIRECTOR: To quote Hamlet: “Seems,” madam? Nay, it is. I know not “seems.”
WOMAN: (baffled) What are you talking about?
DIRECTOR: About you being late and me not putting up with it.
WOMAN: It just turned out this way. I don’t know why.
DIRECTOR: If anything else “just turns out” with you, nothing’s going to turn out for us. Is that clear?
CONSULTANT: Maybe we should start the rehearsal?
DIRECTOR: Are you giving me advice already, sweet cheeks?
CONSULTANT: But they’re here, they’ve apologized.
DIRECTOR: So sit quietly, and not another peep out of you. I want everyone to understand here and now: without iron discipline, we won’t get anywhere. My time’s very limited. Everyone has to obey me implicitly. I won’t tolerate any superstar-itis. I hope that’s clear to everyone.
Silence
Fine. Now, without wasting another minute… (looks at his notebook) The first to speak is our leading lady. The rest will sit quiet and stay out of it. (to WOMAN) Are you ready?
WOMAN: In a minute. I’m just going to make a call.
DIRECTOR: No calls! Everyone, turn off your phones!
WOMAN: I’ll be quick. It’s very important.
DIRECTOR: Nothing can be more important than this rehearsal.
WOMAN: Oh, all right. (puts the phone away)
DIRECTOR: I seem to recall asking if you’re ready.
WOMAN: Yes.
DIRECTOR: So begin. Come forward… By the way, why are you dressed like that? I asked everybody to report in costume.
WOMAN: I didn’t know we had to.
DIRECTOR: Get this into your head: everything I say, you have to do. Got it?
WOMAN: Yes.
DIRECTOR: Fine. You were supposed to come in full costume so you could get used to it, get comfortable in it, feel that it’s yours. But the most important thing is that it helps you to create the right mood.
WOMAN: I was afraid to stain or crush it.
DIRECTOR: Then the least you could have done is figured out that you needed to wear something a little more somber than that. You’re going to be portraying profound sorrow, while your skirt is, sad to say, barely hiding what’s not usually displayed in broad daylight. True, it’s almost night by now. Anyway, do you even have a skirt on?