WOMAN: Don’t you see it?
DIRECTOR: Almost.
WOMAN: But you’re taking a close look, aren’t you?
DIRECTOR: I’m afraid that if I look closely, I’ll see too much.
WOMAN: This is what people are wearing these days.
DIRECTOR: OK. Let’s not waste any more time talking. As they say in the theater, you’re on.
Pause. WOMAN obviously doesn’t know what to do.
So why are you standing there like a pillar of salt?
WOMAN: You didn’t tell me what to do.
DIRECTOR: First of all, step forward and face the audience.
WOMAN doesn’t move.
Well? What’s the problem now?
WOMAN: I don’t know how I’m supposed to walk.
DIRECTOR: You don’t know how to walk? Do you need to be taught that too?
WOMAN: I meant, quickly and energetically or the opposite – slowly?
DIRECTOR: Of course slowly. Do what Stanislavsky – he was a theatrical genius, you know – said, and let yourself sense what’s needed. Meaning that it all has to be done slowly and sadly.
WOMAN: Where’s the audience?
DIRECTOR: The audience is me.
WOMAN goes to stage center and again stands silent.
You have a rare gift, dearie. I love silent women, but silence isn’t always golden. Begin, before we’re too old to care!
WOMAN: One minute… (quickly trots back to her purse, opens it, takes out some sheets of paper, unfolds them, and again returns, slowly and sadly, to stage center.)
DIRECTOR: What’s that?
WOMAN: (guilty) My lines.
DIRECTOR: (exploding) What? You haven’t learned your lines yet? You undisciplined, disorganized… I refuse to work with you! Are you going to speak from a script tomorrow?
WOMAN: What if I do? We all speak from scripts.
DIRECTOR: That’s what you do. With me, you’ll speak without one, or we’re done. Your words should be born of feeling, not from a cheat sheet.
The seated MAN hurriedly takes some pages out of his pocket and starts learning his lines.
WOMAN: I’ll have it down by tomorrow.
DIRECTOR: And you think I believe you? Are you even capable of learning anything, never mind (mimicking her) “by tomorrow”?
WOMAN: I give you my word.
DIRECTOR: Oh, all right. Use the cheat sheet for now. (mocking) You can read, can’t you?
WOMAN opts not to react. She finds the right page and reads.
WOMAN: (cheerfully) Dear friend!
DIRECTOR: Stop!
WOMAN: What?
DIRECTOR: That’s how you tell someone happy birthday. You have to make your face and whole body mournful. Slow movements, shoulders lowered, arms dangling, disobedient lips pronouncing the words with difficulty. Get that?