Have you no shame? Stealing cutlery.
Andrey. No idea what you are talking about. I was just about to ask for the menu and order a bottle of good wine.
Polina. Garbage. You don’t have enough money to order a bowl of soup, let alone a bottle of wine.
Andrey produces a fat wad of shabby banknotes out of his pocket but then quickly puts it back.
Andrey. What are you doing here?
Polina. None of your business.
Andrey. You are a movie star, I’d wager. An actress? A supermodel?
Polina. I’m not. Who do you think I am?
Andrey. A waitress.
Polina.[Pause]. Well, and what are you up to when you are not busy stealing cutlery?
Andrey. To be perfectly blunt, I am looking for a job.
Polina. And what did you do before?
Andrey. Spent days in an asylum, served time, holed up in various places.
Polina. You were in a loony bin?
Andrey. That’s right.
Polina. After falling across a mean waitress, huh?
Andrey. Kinda. Do you see this foot?
Polina. So?
Andrey. I cut off my big toe with an axe.
Polina. What?! Why would you do that?
Andrey. To dodge the draft. Wanna take a look?
Polina. No way. I have no intention to see your stump. Damn, you really did that?
Andrey. Yep.
Polina. For crying out loud, what a place! It seems that our Rubicon is not really a poky hole of a place, considering its loony visitors.
Andrey. May I take a picture of you?
Polina. Why?
Andrey. It’ll be a proof that angels exist.
Polina. You are a funny guy.
Andrey. Not in the least.
Polina. One of a kind.
Andrey. Not in the least.
Polina. Yes, of course, you are
Andrey. Not in the least.
Polina. [Pause.] Right. Not in the least.
Andrey. What is your name?
Polina. Try to guess.
Andrey. People call me Andrey.
Polina. Well, if they call you, you should probably go.
Andrey. My psychiatrist says that we should accept others as they are.
Polina. Well, alright, the therapy session is over.
Nadya appears from the kitchen and stands behind the bar counter.
Nadya. [To Andrey.] Here’s your change. Your room is on the second floor. We serve breakfast at eight. The bar is open round the clock.
Andrey. Bingo!
Nadya. Polina, escort our guest to his room.
Polina. Welcome to the Rubicon Hotel.
Nadya rings the bell on the counter. Andrey and Polina take the stairs up to the second floor.
Andrey. Polina?
Nadya. And tidy up upstairs!