“Isabel!” Fernando began, preparing to voice out those speeches he had repeatedly rehearsed in front of the mirror. But, instead, he began to talk about something else. “Philippa is so imaginative. I told her I tried to write poetry. But it didn't work out. That was a long time ago.”
“Оh! So it’s not you,” Isabel exclaimed with a surprised and confused expression. “It's not you.” Just as Fernando had done the last time, Isabel stuttered before she could finish what she wanted to say.
“Not me what?” Fernando asked.
“Oh, no, no! That was just me. I was thinking about something and was speaking out loud. Forgive me, infante Fernando.”
After saying goodbye, Fernando scolded himself for his indecision and went to his room. “Where had my courage gone?” he reasoned. “I had always been confident until now. I had always won the training sword fights, not because of my skill but because I had a strong spirit. Not even my older brother nor my cousins have this. Why am I now a wimpy little coward?”
Fernando entered his room and looked at himself in the mirror with contempt. “Slug! Slob! Slob!” he shouted angrily, pointing at his reflection. “You are not worthy of a goddess like Isabel! And you are no hero or knight as you always imagined yourself to be! You're a wretched coward! That is what you are!” Fernando covered his face with shame and threw himself into bed, sobbing.
During the night, Fernando could not sleep a wink, feeling emotionally uncomfortable and experiencing mental pain and unbearable anguish. In the morning, he got out of bed, all broken up. He went to his desk and, with a distracted look, ran through the schedule of classes for the day:
French speech
Cartography
Latin speech
Star science
Knightly lessons: sword and lance techniques on a moving target
Dance techniques
He went to the mirror and stared at his reflection – a pale, frowning face with puffy eyelids and red eyes. “I have to pull myself together,” Fernando thought. “It’s a hard day, but I'm not used to giving up. I have to endure and not show anyone my weakness.”
The classes took Fernando's mind off the painful thoughts. But during the second to last lesson, Fernando felt a great physical weakness and slight dizziness. However, he decided to ignore it. Putting on his knight's armor, he got on his favorite horse, took a wooden spear, and galloped toward the moving target. Ten paces from the target, Fernando felt very dizzy. His eyes grew dim, the spear fell out of his hands, and he collapsed to the ground.