Mum turned her face away, as if it was hard for her to look at me.
– You can go to Prague, to Mariszka's» she said finally, after a long silence.
I frowned disappointedly: she was talking about her own things again!
– But then I wouldn't develop! Mariszka will replace you and overprotect me, and I want to feel free to act, but I absolutely understand and accept my responsibilities, – I said.
But Mum didn't answer me.
– After all, I am no more stupid than people my age,' I added. – Please think about it. Maybe you could ask someone you know who lives in England to look after me.
– Not now, Misha. It's very hard for me to talk about it. We'll talk in a month, when your father, brothers and Maria arrive,' Mum said firmly.
– But, Mum…
– I'm not saying no to you, but I need time to… I need to think things over, maybe I can arrange things. I just won't be able to live peacefully knowing that you are far away from me, because I missed Mariszka's hunt to be with you. You are my youngest child and by far my favourite. I love all of you, Martin, Mścislav, Maria, Mariszka, but they are grown up and have become independent, and you are still a child. You were born in this incomprehensible time of universal equality, and you are very impressionable. But I realise I can't keep you at home. Let me think about it. You won't be able to go to Oxford this year anyway.
I nodded silently, marvelling at my foresight: I had already taken the entrance exams online, and I had recently received an email notifying me that I had been accepted into the philosophy department, just as I had dreamed.
I was filled with joy that, thanks to my adult conversation with my mum, I had achieved a lot. Of course, Mum didn't agree, but she promised to think about it. And that's a result.
– Okay, I'll wait. Just please don't think that being away from me is the worst thing in life. I mean, have faith in me, Mum. I promise I'll justify your trust, and if I don't succeed, I'll come home voluntarily. Just understand me.
I had no more words. I kissed Mum's hand and left the office.
Not a sound, not even the rustle of paper, came from her office for another hour or so. Apparently, I had struck Mum in the heart.
But I felt euphoric, and I vowed to become myself, to become the Misha that Cedric saw in me, the one who had cried in front of him.