Example:
If I had Xray vision I would be able to spot assholes from afar.
Joke:
Fewer men would be dead if Meduza Gorgon’s breasts were bigger.
And if I asked you to name all the things that you love, how long would it take you to name yourself?
ЗАДАНИЕ 5. Послушайте песню If There's Any Justice by Lemar и выпишите все примеры, что было бы, если бы мир был справедлив. Дополните список Лемара своими примерами, что было бы в вашей жизни, если бы мир был справедлив.
Examples:
1. If there was(were) any justice in the world, I would get the “ BEST TEACHER EVER“ award.
2. If life were fair, people would get what they deserve.
CAUTION!
LIFE IS NOT FAIR!
Давно мы не касались темы денег и морали. Если вы читали мою книгу про времена “От YESли бы к YESтественно. Как выучить английские времена с помощью мемов”, то вспомните анекдот про грабителя, шерифа и двуязычного находчивого бармена. На просторах интернета нашла эту же шутку с юристом, вместо бармена.
Joke:
A Mexican bandit made a specialty of crossing the Rio Grande from time to time and robbing banks in Texas. The banks offered a reward for his capture, dead or alive. They didn’t think that was likely to recover the stolen funds, but still announced: “If anyone managed to bring back the cash, we would be ready to pay a much bigger reward”.
An enterprising Texas Ranger decided to track down the robber. After a long and difficult search, he traced the bandit to his home town. On a hunch, he checked the town's bar, and sure enough, there was the robber! The only other people in the bar were the bartender and a scrawny, older man at a back table. The time was right to make a move.
The ranger drew his revolver, charged into the cantina, and announced: "You are under arrest. I got a reward for you, dead or alive. Tell me where the money is, and I'll let you live. If you don't, I'll shoot you right here, and save myself the trouble of having to take you back to Texas alive."
But the bandit didn't speak English, and the Ranger didn't speak Spanish! As it turned out, the scrawny man at the back of the bar happened to be a lawyer. He knew the robber, and was bilingual, and quickly offered to translate for the two of them. “If you paid me 50 dollars, I would do the job for you, huh, ranger?” After a bit of haggling, they shook hands on $25.