Submission also has deep evolutionary roots. In ancient communities, the ability to submit to more experienced or stronger members of the group helped ensure survival. This reduced the risk of conflicts, strengthened social bonds, and provided protection. These mechanisms are embedded in neural circuits, making submission not only an adaptive strategy but also a source of biological pleasure. The brain perceives submission as a way to reduce threat, enhancing feelings of safety and belonging.
In trusting relationships, this effect is amplified. When you consciously allow another person to take on the role of leader, you don’t lose yourself but instead enrich your emotional experience. Oxytocin helps you establish connection, and dopamine enhances the joy of releasing tension. Instead of fighting for control, you begin to delve into your feelings, becoming more open and receptive to the present moment.
Submission is not a rejection of freedom but a new aspect of it. It allows you to let go of the illusion of total control and trust the process. This state enhances your mindfulness, helping you better understand your desires, fears, and boundaries. You no longer expend energy battling the situation but find points of harmony within it.
This is why the brain "enjoys" submission. This state reduces stress levels, activates pleasure centers, and creates deep emotional connections – with yourself, another person, or a situation. It is not weakness but a way to release unnecessary burdens, restore strength, and feel part of something greater. In submission, there is no defeat, only freedom to be yourself.
Chapter 2: The Hormones of Power
Testosterone and Oxytocin: Who Dominates Whom?
When it comes to testosterone and oxytocin, it might seem like these two hormones represent opposite poles of human nature. One symbolizes power, the drive for dominance, and victory; the other – care, attachment, and trust. However, the reality is much more complex. Instead of being antagonists, testosterone and oxytocin work together, creating a balance between strength and empathy, which makes power not destructive but conscious and creative.
Testosterone, often referred to as the hormone of male strength, is present in both men and women. It stimulates the drive for leadership, the desire to take responsibility, and the willingness to overcome challenges. Increased levels of testosterone enhance the activity of the prefrontal cortex and amygdala, providing feelings of confidence, motivation, and determination. You feel ready to manage and win.