***
I asked myself whether I was happy with this person. Whether I was happy, not anyone else happy for me! I realized that during our 3 years together I was in a constant state of war and had depleted my resources. I’d got much thinner, my face had become drawn and my breasts had got smaller as if they were hiding in my chest. There are men who smoke their woman like a cigarette. They dry her out, pumping out all her resources. And when the cigarette finishes they just put out the butt in the ash tray. We women are resilient and recover as soon as some extra energy appears. But with such a man it becomes much more difficult to keep afloat when he is trying to drown you all the time.
There are other men who make a lot of effort and care for their woman like for a wonderful flower. And then she blossoms and her breast-buds bloom and give out an aroma that brings joy to the gardener. More about this in A Woman’s breast section.
Woman is the earth and man is the seeds which he sows on her. What he fills her with will flourish. The qualities that he puts into her will be those that define her. What seeds do you want to sow in your ‘earth’? What do you want to grow in her?
Respect between partners
Respect is the stumbling block in all relationships. It is impossible to create harmonious projects without it, never mind creating a baby.
My mentor don Margarito used to say: “Respeto a todos!” – (I respect everyone!)
When two people live in mutual respect, respect continues to multiply on both sides.
When you respect yourself, you respect your partner and people around you also respect you both. And when people respect you, all your projects grow as do you yourselves. By raising up your loved one, you raise yourselves up. And vice versa.
A relationship can be built over many years and completely destroyed in a second when respect is lost. Juan told me that one evening he was eating in a restaurant with his girlfriend when he suddenly caught her look of disgust directed at him. At that very moment he realized that the relationship had come to an end. One glance was enough to end everything.
If you catch yourselves looking at other men or women as potential partners while walking outside with your loved one, this can be called the beginning of the end. It means that you haven’t yet chosen decisively and are still on the lookout. And this process can be long-drawn-out.